The choir we saw last night (in the concert hall pictured below) was quite good. It's impressive, really, what can be done with twenty-five human voices. (I think my dad would've liked the whistly birdcalls.) But there's something that should never be done with a human voice. You know what it is, don't you?
I figured I'd be safe from the dreaded didge last night, as the concert was, after all, part of a choral festival. Indeed, no supplementary instruments were used. But some of the male singers had a diabolical ability to make sounds exactly like a bloody didgeridoo! Not just a little bit, but enough to make people in the audience look around and start whispering what was no doubt "What the hell is that noise?" in Chinese. (I've just looked on the choir's FAQ page. If it truly represented the Questions that are Asked most Frequently, I'm pretty sure that "What the hell was that noise?" would be at the top of the list.)
Well, what a conundrum! I didn't know what to think! Is it the sound of the didge that is unacceptable, whencesoever it comes? Or is it the ridiculous tube itself that I find objectionable? In short, did this count as "the first sign of a didgeridoo" (which, you'll recall, was the point at which I vowed to be "out of there")? I was totally perplexed.
And then I realized that I'd had a similar feeling before. At a restaurant a couple of months ago, someone was ordering frogs, and do I eat frogs? As a vegetarian who eats fish and seafood but no other kinds of meat, I honestly didn't know the answer. I'd never had them before. Do I eat frogs? I had no idea what to think about eating frogs.
Can you see the connection? Can you? It was crystal clear to me after I'd had a beer when I got home, let me tell you. But I promise you this: you can try to drown the drone of the didge in booze, my friend, but it won't work. Well, it might work eventually, but I only had one can of Kirin in my fridge.
Yes, it's my third-last day at work, and I seem to be leaning toward both delirium and hyperbole. Somebody save me from myself!
Wednesday, July 28, 2004