Wednesday, November 05, 2003

You know it's time for a pedicure when... can't try on the sock you're knitting, for fear of catching the yarn on your rough, cracked, nasty heel! Yes, I'm talking about me. I finished the first lace panel sock two nights ago, but I don't dare pull it on over my gnarly heel. I've never had a pedicure, but I've always wanted to. (I'm cheap.) But I think it's time.

Actually, it's not true that I've never had a pedicure -- I've just never paid for one. When I was at hairdressing school (TEN years ago?!), there was an estheticians' class down the hall. When it came time for testing in one program, volunteers would be recruited from the other. When the estheticians were being tested on pedicures and facials, I volunteered, and I spent three hours that afternoon having my feet soaked and rubbed, my calves massaged, my toenails painted, my face subjected to various lotions and potions, and my blackheads extracted. It was awesome. I loved it. And I haven't had either a facial or a pedicure again since.

You see, instead of a PIO (Pampering Is OK) gene, I've long been infected with a raging case of DGITTBM (Don't Give In To The Beauty Myth!). I can't help it! It's like the opposite of the "Because I'm worth it!" campaign. If I even entertain the thought of spending money on a girly extravagance, a tiny militant feminist hops onto my shoulder, fist raised, shouting in my ear, "Don't do it! It's a waste of your hard-earned wages! You don't need that! Down with The Man!" (Yes, it is very irritating!) Anyway, I've had one pedicure, it was free, and it was in 1993.

(You can imagine the internal struggles I faced at the age of twenty when I was a full-time hairdressing student and a part-time Women's Studies major at the same time. People are surprised that I dress conservatively and have tattoos? Dude, I was in hairdressing school! And I went to Women's Studies classes in the evenings! I laugh in the face of contradiction! Ha!)

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