brainylady

Now I feel like I'm crying wolf, but I really may not be able to post for a while after tonight. So I'll give you lots of little bits and ask you to pace yourself and read one a day until I'm back. Thank you.

The title alone is excellent, but you should read the story to find out what it means: "Why the Queen is like a loaf". Hmm, monarchy, bakery... yes, I see...

Also from the Guardian: "Just feel the width...". The author (Blake Morrison) offers six possible reasons for the trend toward big, long books. He also sums up some famously big reads like Ulysses. I had to read Ulysses as a misguided English major at university, and come time for the term paper, I wish I could've handed this in:

Ulysses (1,040 pages) A day in the life of middle-aged Dublin ad-salesman Leopold Bloom, during which he has a shit, faces down a racist bigot, masturbates and saves a drunk would-be writer from chippy British soldiers, taking him home where his wife lulls herself to sleep with the longest unpunctuated sentence in literature.

I wish I had a sewing machine and my lovingly collected stash of vintage cotton prints, because I'd whip up a knit cosy as nice as the ones at Sew Darn Cute. I especially like their 1950s kitchenware fabric. Don't even get me started about the handbags.

This story from The Onion made me laugh because I swear this guy was in at least one of my Communications classes at university: "Area Man Constantly Mentioning He Doesn't Own a Television". There was always a guy who was righteous about his immunity from (gasp!) popular culture. You know, the one who scoffed at "the masses." I hated that guy. That guy was a liar.

To celebrate that it is Friday evening and the work week is done, I offer you several random complaints about my job (because, of course, you really care):

The office does not suppy toilet paper.

There is a security camera in every room.

Employees are not allowed to eat breakfast at their desks.

If an employee is late by even one minute, she is docked one hour's pay.

We are still getting our temperatures taken three times a day.

There are no windows, so pre-lunch conversation goes something like this: "Is it raining? Do I need my umbrella?" "Well, it was raining when we came in four hours ago. But it might be hot now." (If it is sunny, we emerge squinting like moles.)

There is no office coffee. Only hot water so people can make tea. No cold drinkable water.

My dear friend Marlo is getting married tomorrow (June 28). I wish I could be there, but the wedding is in Montreal and I'm 12 whole time zones away. I wish them lots of love, and I can't wait to hear all about it. Congratulations, Marlo and Elana!! xo