Friday, June 27, 2003

Now I feel like I'm crying wolf, but I really may not be able to post for a while after tonight. So I'll give you lots of little bits and ask you to pace yourself and read one a day until I'm back. Thank you.

The title alone is excellent, but you should read the story to find out what it means: "Why the Queen is like a loaf". Hmm, monarchy, bakery... yes, I see...

Also from the Guardian: "Just feel the width...". The author (Blake Morrison) offers six possible reasons for the trend toward big, long books. He also sums up some famously big reads like Ulysses. I had to read Ulysses as a misguided English major at university, and come time for the term paper, I wish I could've handed this in:

Ulysses (1,040 pages) A day in the life of middle-aged Dublin ad-salesman Leopold Bloom, during which he has a shit, faces down a racist bigot, masturbates and saves a drunk would-be writer from chippy British soldiers, taking him home where his wife lulls herself to sleep with the longest unpunctuated sentence in literature.
I wish I had a sewing machine and my lovingly collected stash of vintage cotton prints, because I'd whip up a knit cosy as nice as the ones at Sew Darn Cute. I especially like their 1950s kitchenware fabric. Don't even get me started about the handbags.

This story from The Onion made me laugh because I swear this guy was in at least one of my Communications classes at university: "Area Man Constantly Mentioning He Doesn't Own a Television". There was always a guy who was righteous about his immunity from (gasp!) popular culture. You know, the one who scoffed at "the masses." I hated that guy. That guy was a liar.

To celebrate that it is Friday evening and the work week is done, I offer you several random complaints about my job (because, of course, you really care):
  • The office does not suppy toilet paper.
  • There is a security camera in every room.
  • Employees are not allowed to eat breakfast at their desks.
  • If an employee is late by even one minute, she is docked one hour's pay.
  • We are still getting our temperatures taken three times a day.
  • There are no windows, so pre-lunch conversation goes something like this: "Is it raining? Do I need my umbrella?" "Well, it was raining when we came in four hours ago. But it might be hot now." (If it is sunny, we emerge squinting like moles.)
  • There is no office coffee. Only hot water so people can make tea. No cold drinkable water.

  • My dear friend Marlo is getting married tomorrow (June 28). I wish I could be there, but the wedding is in Montreal and I'm 12 whole time zones away. I wish them lots of love, and I can't wait to hear all about it. Congratulations, Marlo and Elana!! xo

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